PH. 0447 845 880

info@fourmilemarkers.com.au

Moreland Rd., Brunswick West, Victoria

Counselling

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Holistic Healing

 

Grief and Loss

September 16th, 2016

To lose someone or something meaningful in your life can be complex and challenging. Grieving your loss in important.How you express grief in an individual process and so here I provide you with a brief summary of the Stages of Grief and Loss, which may help in your own understanding.

Yes there are stages of grief but they are by no means standard and structured. Nor can a specific time frame be placed on mourning your loss.

Shock – Disbelief that the loss has occurred and unable to fully comprehend what has happened. Feeling numb.

Denial – Believing a loss hasn’t occurred; You may even find thinking “this isn’t really happening” or “maybe I’m dreaming”

Emotional, psychological and physical symptoms – You may be saddened, relieved, shed tears, be unable to eat, develop a sense of hopelessness, become tired

Guilt – You may wonder what you could have done, did you spend enough quality time with them

Anger – It is reasonable to be angered by your loss

Idealisation – Wondering what could have been, putting them on a pedestal and forgetting their faults

Acceptance, Readjustment and Personal growth – Occurs when life goes despite your loss, being able to move forward and experience a new way.

 

Grief and loss can be complicated when expected, when there has been a sense of closure or when the loss is sudden or traumatic. Therapy can aid in working through the process and helping with the adjustment required in a supportive, safe and open environment.

sad-embrace

 

Id, Ego and SuperEgo

June 11th, 2016

What forms our personalities? The Id, The Ego and The SuperEgo.

The human psyche is made up of all three parts forming a whole; who we are in terms of how we think, feel act and react; our personalities.

 

ID

Our innate self can be viewed as our biological drive to gain satisfaction and avoid pain, our instinct that is not governed by reason or logic. Most likely it is our id that causes us to make questionable decisions; to satisfy a need without any consideration for consequences.

EGO

The logical, reasonable part of us that allow us to coexist and live day to day is the ego. The ego makes choices, plans for the future; calculating and considering consequences for decisions. The ego could be viewed as long term well-being safety regulator.

SUPEREGO

Then there is the SuperEgo, the part of us as a whole, that is formed through interaction with others. Our superego develops from our learned sense of right and wrong; our values and beliefs.

 

All three parts the Id, Ego and SuperEgo in alignment enhances a person as whole being, misaligned with any of these parts over powering the other, problems arise.  Often a conflict between how you see yourself, how others see you and what you actually desire may present. Hence consideration to the creation of unconscious motivations and defence mechanisms that manifest in life and need to be addressed.

What can help with understanding the three aspects of personality, how they are structured and formed? Psychoanalytic and psychodynamic therapies with an exploration of experiences in developmental stages of life.

 

 “We can help empower people to make better choices with understanding”

ID=Innate Self EGO=Self SUPER EGO=Higher Self

conscious vs unconscious

Self-Inventory

April 18th, 2016

Have you ever heard of or been asked to take a self-inventory? Taking a self-inventory is to measure yourself in different aspects of your life and your wellbeing as a whole person. We all have strengths and weakness which can change throughout our lives; steering us one way or another.

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Often we separate ourselves into roles; who we are at work, at play, as a parent, child, sibling etc. Does your role reflect who you truly are as a person? What happens when your role changes? Who you were at the age of 7, a child then a teen to an adult? There are obvious differences when you look at behaviours and development stages, but is there some part that never changed? Grew stronger? Have you always displayed or been driven by a particular trait?

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Taking a self-inventory can help you in identifying who you are as an individual rather than a part or role you identify yourself with. It can be used to evaluate how connected you are to the world outside of yourself.

Yes, we all have a soul, an essence of who we really are and it is our soul connects our heart, to our mind, to our body. Although we can’t all see what a soul actually is, but it is the key player that drives our purpose for living, regulates our ethics, creates our ideas, inspires our action and connects us all on a whole other level…. We are a soul expressed in human form, the essence of who we are a person.

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Being spiritual isn’t about being religious, however in the process of self-reflection; whether that be journal writing, personality tests or other method of establishing who you are as a person with understanding. You can discover your belief system, what drives you to live the life you choose to live, your relationship with others and most importantly knowing yourself.

Governed by our soul, A good head and A good heart, Always a good combination.

About Trauma

March 26th, 2016

By definition trauma is an extremely distressing experience. Trauma can be physical, mental and/or emotional and can quickly impact all three aspects of a person’s wellbeing.

One of the misconceptions of trauma is that it is a once off dramatic event that has a long lasting impact. Of course a specific event could traumatic, however so can a minor, seemingly insignificant experience that occurs repeatedly over a period of time.

Being labelled or being judged, early life events that where not addressed in the ideal manner, or trying to conform to a preconceived notion; all may form a pattern or behaviour that could be experienced as a traumatic experience or crisis later in life.  A repeated ‘minor’ or ‘innocent’ disturbance or conditioning can merge and escalate to an intolerable state.

A traumatic event could occur naturally, accidently, medically, developmentally or as a result of emotional and relationship problems.

Then there is PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). This is often referenced when referring to extreme events, such as a victim of war or abuse, however PTSD could also extend to persons that were supporting or indirectly exposed to trauma. A simple example is, a child that is impacted from the trauma of a divorce or remarriage (good or bad, a divorce or remarriage is a change from what previously familiar).

All personal crisis big or small, present a danger and an opportunity, that may take affect at any stage in life. Whether by perceived or direct experience, the response to trauma may also vary from individual to individual. Some may battle with depression, other may develop compulsions, others may lose the ability to think rationally or succumb to substance use (drugs and alcohol). It is important to capture the maladaptive and create a better prospect.

Think about a dripping tap, the first few drops may be insignificant however by the hundredth drop the significants in more evident.

No event that is destressing for you should be ignored or deemed insignificant. Be aware of your experiences, destructive beliefs and be prepared work through what may be causing you harm or having a negative impact on your quality of life. Early intervention may be the key; however, it is never too late.

Take care.

Seeing A Therapist May Benefit You

February 27th, 2016

We all experience time of stress, sadness, grief and conflict, yet those in distress may be suffering needlessly and make the problem worse by avoiding professional help. “The earlier someone gets help, the easier it is to get through the problem,” says psychologist Daniel J. Reidenberg.

As it can be hard to know if it’s time to see a professional and studies have shown that those who would benefit from some therapeutic intervention are not seeking it enough.

Therapy is often avoided because of the stigma of attached to it and the assumption of weakness. Weakness is far from the truth, in fact engaging in therapy is a sign of strength in character, a willingness to have support and motivation to better wellbeing.

Therapy is about life and how difficult and challenging situations can be. Therapy helps work through issues, provided skills and techniques to help with stressors, blocks and improving for a better way of life.

Here are some signs that it may be time to see a therapist:

  1. Therapy may benefit you when; Everything you feel is intense, more intense than it has in the past or more often than it has in the past. The intensity impairs your ability to think clearly, act rationally and function is your usual way.

Key factors: overwhelm, overly emotional, excessive worry, focusing on the worst case scenario, panic, avoiding or withdrawing.

 

  1. Therapy may benefit you when; If you’ve suffered a trauma and you can’t seem to stop thinking about it, thoughts and feeling not going away or lessening over time, extreme behaviours or actions, disturbed sleep.

Key factor: the situation Feeling like a broken record and on constant replay.

 

  1. Therapy may benefit you when; You experience unexplained, reoccurring headaches, stomach-aches or lowered immunity.

Research confirms that mental and emotional problems can manifest itself in the form of a wide range of physical ailments, from upset stomach to headaches, frequent colds, changes to your usual libido, tics and twitches.

Key factors; illness, aches and pains that are not attributed to a medical condition

 

  1. Therapy may benefit you when; If you’re using a substance to escape, minimise issues or feel better.

Increasing your usual alcohol or drug quality or regularity, even thinking about drinking or drugs more often; these could be signs that you’re hoping to numb feelings that should be addressed.

Key factors; Using alcohol, drugs or action to relieve your suffering and comfort eating.

 

  1. Therapy may benefit you when; You are unable to do, act or be your usual self at work or socially

Changes in work performance are common among those struggling with emotional or psychological issues. You might feel disconnected from your job, the things that used to make you happy

Key factors; changes in concentration, attention, quality of work or motivation to carry on.

 

  1. Therapy may benefit you when; You feel disconnected from previously beloved activities

If you no longer feel pleasure in your usual activities, feel alienated from friends and family, struggling to find a purpose and a continuing sense of being unhappy.

Key factors; isolation, disillusionment, lacking drive, a sense of being lost.

 

  1. Therapy may benefit you when; Your relationships are strained

You are having trouble identifying and communicating how you really feel. Family and friends raised concerns and you are unable to find a resolution.

Key factors; others noticing that you seem ‘out of sorts’ or behaving differently.

Impacted by these aspects?

One or many of these 7 areas may all be a sign that it may be a good time to set up an appointment with a qualified therapist.  Please ensure you discuss your therapy options to ensure the best outcome. The goal of our therapy is to empower you effectively and efficiently, in a customised way. Our therapy is not a blanket ‘one size fits all’ approach and we will tailor sessions to meet your specific needs.

Contact us at your earliest convenience for an appointment via mobile 0447 845 880, email info@fourmilemarkers.com.au or go to our contact page on this website. We are happy to help.

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